Trump Stakes

 In Featured, Stuff

Donald Trump has given us a gift. He allows us to accomplish great things. Those who support this ‘man’ can stop reading now. The gift will not work for you. Go home.

A behavior that I decided to work on in 2016 is to follow through on things I say I want to do. With that crazy thing called Life always getting in the way, I often found myself not completing certain tasks, projects, experiences, and goals that I at some point planned on doing.

I decided to take the advice of Tim Ferriss, specifically stated in his book, The 4-Hour Chef, but also mentioned numerous times on his podcast and blog.


 “No matter how good a plan is, how thorough a book is, or how sincere our intentions, humans are horrible at self-discipline,” Ferriss writes.

Essentially, most of us suck at doing things that we say we want to do.

In 2016, there is/was a lot I want to accomplish, but I had to start somewhere. Take the small victory and then advance. I chose two goals that I could create within a time constraint, so I would be able to judge the results in the first half of the year.

How would I make myself accountable? What are the stakes that would encourage success?

First, I wanted to read more. My reading habits in the past have been inconsistent, where I wouldn’t read anything for months and then bang out 3 books in 6 weeks. I decided to set a goal of 5 books completed before July 1.

Every year I partner with one of my closest friends in a Fantasy Football league. I LOVE Fantasy Football, and kind of like my friend too. I told him if I don’t finish 5 books by July 1st I would not participate in the league this year. This way I gave myself two reasons to succeed, playing FF and not letting my friend down.

I finished 5 books by May 1st.

The second thing was health related. Ending 2015 with holidays and starting 2016 with a 2-week trip to the West Coast, I needed something to get my ass back in gear. I sent the following letter to one of my Conservative friends (I promise, he’s a pretty decent dude other than this attribute):



On the date of April 15th, 2016, I give _____________ permission to donate the enclosed check for $2,000 to the Republican Presidential candidate of his choosing, unless the following criteria are met:


  • 1x bread per week
  • 1.5x alcohol per week
  • 5 days exercise per week
  • 3×10 planks 3x per week
  • Quest Bars only on wknds
  • Dairy only on wknds


**Only possible exception to this is the week of Feb 5th**

 On April 15th, 2016, when these criteria have all been met, ______________ will rip the enclosed check into 8 equally sized pieces and place them in the proper waste disposal receptacle in Brooklyn, USA.


 Chris G. Heller


I thought a 3-month window to follow this set of rules would be a good way to kick-start my fitness plan for the year.

I’m sure my friend posted these rules on his fridge.


Using the fear of being a donator to the Republican Party as motivation, following my rules was a piece of cake (which was only allowed 1x per week, by the way).

This was back in January, BEFORE Donald Trump was the presumptive nominee.

Now that he’s their guy, do you see what we have here? A ‘Trump Stakes’ that actually works, unlike ‘Trump Steaks’ and every other fraudulent business concept attached to that brand.

What do you want to accomplish in the next few months? What have you been putting off?

This is your time. Right now. Send that check made out to ‘Make America Great Again’ to one of your friends. Instruct them to send it or rip it up on Date XYZ.




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